in other news I started school and so far so good,just hope I can handle it.
My mood has been up and down but not too bad. Feeling a bit empty at the moment.
Just called the crisis line and talked to someone so I feel a bit better. Not so suicidal. Just waiting for tomorrow.
I want to fade away. I’ve been binging/purging a lot more. I cut a couple days ago. I’ve been trying to keep it together,just not that easy. I’m falling apart inside.
Been using my coping skills
Still though I burned last night and tonight but I didn’t jump off of anything like the strong urges I had to.
I used my “happy bag” filled with coping things and phrases before burning tonight. I didn’t call the crisis phone and I should have.
Listening to music right now to keep from burning again.
Hope is what I need..and right now I don’t have it
I try but it doesn’t seem good enough….and I try harder but I fall again anyway,makes me feel like giving up..but I wont
Why can’t I react like a normal person
Why do i got to such extremes
I over think I over feel.
I try not to but it takes over
I guess I have a lot to work on
I hate being screwed up
Feeling a bit better..just waiting for tomorrow
I don’t want to be me…can’t I just vanish away…
Been dissociating alot these past few days…It’s like I’m a ghost..outside of myself..things don’t seem real I don’t seem real.
Feeling so numb and empty..stressed.
All the bad things are locked up inside me. Memories,intrusive thoughts,images,voices. Hurt myself on the outside to kill the things inside